Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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