you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
