Betty ford says i'm here all night
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
