How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
