So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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