im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
