2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
