she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
