Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
