her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
