Christians are straight up FREAKS
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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