it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
