Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
