I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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