What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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