im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
false alarm. still invincible.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
