***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
