my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
