Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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