I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
