taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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