after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
