I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
