a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
