This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
