i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
