Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
