I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
