Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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