all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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