I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
