I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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