Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
