after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
