For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
