I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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