take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
