You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
