During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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