So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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