Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
