woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
