So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
