He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
