What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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