bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
