I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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