Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
