Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
