And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
