i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
