there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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